UnorthodoxY Archive It's wasn't what you thought

… but fortunately it’s way too hot to bake.

If it wasn’t, I’d bake this cake.

Watching TV earlier this week I was appalled by an advert for the Tassimo coffee maker, sorry, coffee system. I’m not annoyed by the stupid name, the annoyingly stereotyped adverts, or the fact that the machine is just an attempt to tie people to one manufacturer by combining the freely available coffee, milk, and whatnot in one machine-specific proprietary one-use over-priced cartridge. That’s fine, I’m happy not buying one. I’m sure it fills a niche.

No, what annoyed me is that apparently the Tassimo is Product of the Year, at least in the field of drinks equipment.

Now, I’m not annoyed by the fact that it’s a pretty lofty claim for a kichen gadget that’s not even very original in it’s field, nor am I annoyed that Cillit Bang is nowhere to be found in the cleaning products section.

I’m not even annoyed by the fact that the Product of the Year badge is a badly disguised marketing gimmick where you pay for consideration by the public (well, the 12 thousand or so who can be arsed to return the form) and then pay if you win.

No, the thing that really tweaked me off was that it’s Product of the Year 2007. Eh, I had to check the calendar to make sure I hadn’t slept for nine months.

It’s a bit premature to be handing out the 2007 awards, no? How’s your typical wacky inventor going to feel when, after perfecting a machine that converts household waste into the delicious beverage of your choice, he realises he’s playing second fiddle to a glorified vending machine?

Cheeky fuckers.

I urge everyone to brandish their biros and insert the phrase ‘the first quarter of’ into the logo wherever they may see it.

(Probably best not to do it if it’s you’re seeing it on a website or a TV advert, you’re just going to get ink on your screen).

It’s been a bit quiet around here lately. I’ve thought of posting a few different things but I’m always wary of posting whatever flits through my mind. Otherwise I fall into the trap of posting stuff like this:

I tend to have a bit spare fruit lying around, so I’m fond of trying to do new things with it before it goes too ripe and mushy. This led to me throwing bits of banana in the pasta sauce I made tonight — it was interesting and I think that the right blend of bacon, tomato, banana and chilli might have the makings of something really special. Or maybe I’m just odd.

That’s the sort of inanity that you’re spared when I decide not to post anything at all. There’s plenty of that already on the web, hell if that’s your bag then there’s a new site dedicated to it.

So, there’ll be more posts when something moves me to post.

Or when I perfect my chibactomban sauce.

… of pies.

They took the trophy with a traditional steak and ale pie. Although it’s seems slightly unfair to win a world cup based on pie sales from an outlet that only sells in England. Some of the other pie fillings sound good, kangaroo in merlot, beef stroganoff, or chicken with plantains would all make a tasty pie.

I’m forced to wonder what pie Scotland would field if they made the next world cup (stop laughing, they might). I guess the obvious would be a traditional scotch pie, or haggis, neeps and tatties, although haggis in whisky sauce might make a better filling. You could go a more eccentric route, cullen skink pie, arbroath smokie pie, or maybe porridge pie.

Hmmm, it might be worth actually trying some of them but it’s far too hot to have the oven on.

Perhaps I’ll have a pie party when the weather cools down … fear my freakish fillings.