UnorthodoxY Archive It's wasn't what you thought

Well, I’m still alive, in case anyone was wondering.

I’ve been from Paris to Luxembourg (too small, and closed), then via brief changeovers in Cologne and Prague to spend the last two nights in Bratislava in Slovakia. I’ll post more details of each city when I get back (no, really I will!).

My feet are killing me from old boots and too many ‘walking cities’, my brain is fried from changing currencies and language every two days, the changing food has done nothing good for my body and the strong beer has done nothing good for my head.

I’ve done all I can think of in Bratislava, I’m out of season so things have been quiet everywhere I’ve been so far. I’ve got a few hours to kill before I take the overnight train to Krakow. My final train ride of the trip, the trains are very good, but my last overnight journey was a bit cramped until half-way through. This one is worse as it arrives at half six in the morning with lots of stops in between. At least Krakow is the last stop so I can ignore everything until we get there.

The next two days will be interesting, I had nothing planned for Bratislava before arriving and managed to find things. But for Krakow I have more than enough things I’d like to do to fill the time. Hopefully I can shoehorn it all in, otherwise we’ll just see how it goes. It’s easy enough to fly to anyway, so I can come back.

Off for a few drinks before the train, more when I get back to Edinburgh next week.

What’s that you say?

Jagerbombs?

At ten to four in the afternoon?

With my reputation?

World of wrong!

Posted at quarter to five, from an apartment in the midst of Paris, after an excellent day — I just hope I remember tomorrow.

A so another week begins, and I stagger my groggy, slightly hungover, self into work.

But what’s this? There’s something on everyone’s desk.

A present from the gods of corporate? What a fabulous way to start the week!

I contemplate the gift for a bit, what can it be? It’s a small grey package in some sort of plastic sleeve, about the size of a pack of cards but half the thickness. The company logo is prominently displayed across the front.

Maybe it’s set of business cards, a crisp twenty pound note, a name badge, a little metal ingot or a voucher for something-or-other.

Perhaps it’s just a little card from the high heid yins saying “thanks for the hard work.”

No, it’s none of the above.

It’s a lens cleaning cloth.

Woo-bloody-hoo!

Now we can all have our own personal cloth to polish our lens to our hearts content.

And it’s branded, just so we know who’s paid for that gleaming shine.

The little plastic sleeve it came in is arguably more useful than the cloth itself.

Fabulous use of the companies money there guys!

Corporate Wankers.

I’m tempted to blow my nose with it.